“This is Actually Happening” Some time ago, I began to work with these four words as a reminder to help me return to the present moment. It became a mantra of sorts and was especially useful when there was a long line somewhere and I had to wait. Over time, it became associated with breathing through my nose and not my mouth. This alone would place me in a more receptive state. I did this often enough so the words actually felt like a friend inviting me to be present to what was happening in front of my nose. The Adventure On my way to do a dog massage in Manchester by the Sea, 25 minutes from my house, I pass through the small town of Essex, known for its antiques and fried clams. I have made this trip hundreds of times. On this warm October day, for reasons unknown, the idea popped into my head to stop at the DD in Essex to get a hot chocolate with whipped cream. This was so odd because: a) it was rather hot outside, b) I have not been in that DD for years and c) I very rarely order a hot chocolate. I smiled and let the thought go, but quite strangely, it persisted especially focusing on the whipped creme. I finally gave in to the thought and ten minutes later arrived at this small DD in Essex. I walked in and there was only one woman in the store, and she was holding a large iced tea drink. I asked if she was in line and she pointed to the counter. No one was behind it. I asked, “Do you know what’s going on?” She said that she had already yelled out but got no response. “Then, how did you get your drink.” “Oh, I ordered it online and it was waiting for me when I came in.” “Do you mind if I give it a try?” I leaned over the counter to see if anyone was in the small back room. No one was in there. Then, in a loud, friendly voice, I called out “Helloooo”. Anybody home?” No response. I looked at her and we both laughed, “I’m 75 and this is a first for me”. “Same here, only 30 years”. “But why are you still here? You already have your drink.” “I want to get some whipped cream for my dog who is waiting in the car.” Boom! And boom, my mantra friend kicked in. “This is actually happening”. And with that reminder, I became more present and for the first time, I actually looked at her with fresh eyes. A human being was standing right in front of me. That opened our flood gates of communication. I told her I was on the way to Manchester to do a dog massage. She told me she was coming from Manchester, on her way to take care of some horses in Ipswich. “I started this two years ago and had only planned to muck the stalls for a few months, but now two years have passed.” “So, would it be safe to say that you are in transition?” “Oh yes!”. As we chatted and waited for the currently invisible person to emerge from somewhere, I discovered her name was Elizabeth, same as our daughter, and thus easy for me to remember. She had two masters degrees including her most recent from a college in England focusing on sustainability. “Could you tell me about your dog in the car who likes whipped cream?” “I actually have two dogs and got them both from Sweet Paws Rescue” “Intriguing. We have four dogs and three of them are from Sweet Paws.” We thought about calling the police just to be on the safe side but decided to go on our mutual ways and check back a little later. We walked outside heading toward our cars. “Would you like to meet my dog in the car. She is a rambunctious one year old. Sometimes she is afraid of men.” “OK, let’s give it a try. Most dogs feel comfy with me since my clothes have the odors of all the dogs I visit as well as my own dogs.” At the car, this sweet one-year old lab mix with shining youthful eyes greeted me tenderly as I let her smell my hands. She invited me to pat her. We were having fun when she dived down on the floor and brought up a stick in her mouth. We played together for just a bit. I looked at Elizabeth and said - “I am a mediator and one of the things I love to do is to accompany people in transition. I don’t charge anything for this and some people with whom I chat tell me they find it helpful. That is more than sufficiently gratifying for me”. I gave her one of my dog massage cards with all my contact info. “Completely up to you” I continued. She asked if I prefer email or phone. “Either is fine – whichever you like to get it going.” Whether she follows up, or whether this simple encounter was perhaps a little nudge to help her “launch”, I may never know. What I do know is that “This was actually happening” We were engaged and connected, even for a short time. And no, I never did get my hot chocolate and whipped cream – or from a wider and not literal perspective, maybe I did, or maybe I didn’t really need to. P.S. On my way home DD was up and running, someone behind the counter and several people were in the store. It was as if the surprising encounter that we had was a beautiful, moment, a lovely gift for both of us.
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David FeldmanDog walker, Dog Mediator, Father, Husband, Categories |