10/31/2023 0 Comments The Barking Dog - Mediation Sometimes the “power” of the mediators is simply to show up and listen. In this case, the parties were stuck because they could not figure out how to re-start a conversation that they both wanted to have. With the mediators present and listening, it became possible. This mediation occurred at a housing authority of a small town near where I live. The housing authority oversees public housing. They often use mediators when they cannot resolve the conflict. The over-riding rule in public housing is that tenants cannot switch where they live, even if they are not getting along with their neighbor. Thus, everyone must do their best to get along. Upstairs Neighbor - woman, in her 70s, elegant in style, nicely dressed My co-mediator and I first listened to the upstairs neighbor. She had complained to the housing authority, and they contacted us. She had only one complaint, but for her it was a big one. The downstairs neighbor had a dog with a high-pitched bark. The dog barked constantly during the day. She worked part-time and, on her days off, she really wanted peace and quiet. A month earlier, she had spoken to her neighbor about stopping his dog from barking. The conversation quickly degenerated and they ended calling each other names. She felt badly about that and did not want to go over the details. She simply wanted the dog to stop barking. We acknowledged that her wish was for peace, quiet, and enjoying her apartment. Downstairs Neighbor – man, in his 70s, a bit rough around the edges, casually dressed The downstairs neighbor also acknowledged that he said things in the heat of the moment, and he also felt badly about it. He told us that his dog, a two-year old chihuahua cross, was the “love of his life.” He had no intention whatsoever of putting her in a cage when he was not there. When we told him that we understood how important the dog was to him, he became relatively calm. He said that he would prefer to get along with his neighbor, and that he gets along well with his other neighbors. We asked him if could tell us more about the situation. He said that his dog likes to jump up on the back of the couch and look out the living room window where she sees many people and dogs walking by. Every time she sees someone, she barks. When he is there, he tells her to stop barking and she stops. But when he is not there, she continues. He tried putting up some curtains so she could not see out. However, she is such a smart dog, she crawled under the curtains to look out the window. We acknowledged his dog’s intelligence. “Any other thoughts that would give your neighbor peace, and also allow your dog some free range through the apartment?” we asked. “Well, yes. I can easily put a little barrier up so that she can have easy access to the bedroom and the kitchen, but not the living room, when I am out of the apartment.” “Do you think it might work?” we inquired. “I hope so, but it might take her a few days to get used to it.” We asked the upstairs neighbor if she thought this might solve the problem. She said she was hopeful, but is taking a wait and see approach. She would also give the dog some time to adapt. We wrote a little agreement that they both signed, and it seemed that the very air in the room had cleared. As he was leaving, he turned to her and said “maybe we can have coffee?” She rolled her eyes and we all laughed. .
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David FeldmanDog walker, Dog Mediator, Father, Husband, Categories |