What is a Cursillo - The Cursillo is a three-day Christian retreat. The Cursillo movement began in Majorca, Spain in the 1940s and has made its way around the globe. It arrived in the United States in the 1960s. The Spanish word “Cursillo” actually means “a little course” and the Cursillo is a little course in Christianity and an opportunity to deepen one’s relationship with Christ. At the time of my Cursillo, I knew almost nothing about the history or what to expect at this retreat. I was content to stay ignorant and let it unfold. I had gone on many retreats in my life, and I cannot think of even one that wasn’t worthwhile in one way or another. My story starts on a drizzly Thursday night in October, 1999. Jim, my Cursillo sponsor and a long-time member of the LaSalette Faith Community, picked me up in his Honda Civic hatchback and drove through the back roads to St. Basil’s Salvatorian Center in Methuen, where I would spend the weekend with about 50 other men I did not know. The only two requirements for the Cursillo were that I be sponsored by someone in a Christian / Catholic community, and that I was baptized. My prior baptism story was sketchy at best. I had been brought up Jewish and began exploring other traditions in my late teens and early twenties. When I was 22, a dear Catholic friend and mentor baptized me in a personal ceremony and explained that it was “legal” within the Catholic tradition. Jim strongly suggested that I not go into details about my baptism because some at the Cursillo might not recognize it. I agreed. Even when I was young, I have always had a deep sense of the sacred and a personal encounter with Christ seemed somewhat superfluous to me. And yet, here I was on the way to this retreat. Over the three-day retreat, there were fifteen talks on various Christian topics. We were arranged at tables of 8-10 men with a leader who was part of the Cursillo team. We listened and then shared our understanding including what inspired, challenged or bothered us. The first talk was about the history of life from a literal biblical point of view. The fixed position, the lack of modern or even ancient science, and the arrogance of the patriarchal “one true way” did not work for me at all. In fact, it was a clear reflection of all the reasons I did not and still do not connect with fundamentalism in any religion. “Oh no, this is awful,” I thought to myself. “This may be a very long weekend.” Most of the men at my table came from very difficult circumstances, including prison, alcohol, drugs or lousy relationships. Some felt coerced by their parole officers, wives or girlfriends to attend. In fact, the Cursillo is intentionally set up so that there is no easy “escape.” I was at a different point in my life and spiritual journey. I was 52 years old, happily married for 23 years and had a wonderful daughter in the Peace Corps in Paraguay. Catherine and I lived on a lovely little farm with horses, dogs, cats, chickens and ducks and all sorts of wildlife. I had a good job, friends and, all in all, a very lucky and fulfilling life. I was not particularly clear on what I was doing at this retreat. One of the surprises (there were many) was that we received heart-felt handwritten letters from the community members that supported us. These letters were called “Palanca”, a Spanish word literally meaning “lever”. In these letters, people detailed the prayers and sacrifices they would make for me so that I might be lifted in my spiritual life. Whether it was these letters or not, something changed “in me” on Friday (the first full day). I realized in a direct and emotional way, that this was my Cursillo, my life, and I was totally responsible for my experience. Without any “effort” on my own part, I was able to separate from my thoughts about the stupidity and rigidity of some of the presentations. It wasn’t that I had to give up rationality or good common sense, quite the contrary. Something in me shifted just enough so I could let the thoughts be. I was more present and receiving everything more emotionally. What a subtle but remarkable liberation. As I now looked around the table, I saw the men in a different way. My wish was to accompany them as we all worked through our issues together. I had already received this wonderful gift and wanting anything else for myself felt a bit greedy. I had the rest of the weekend to do my best to be there for others, as they began to drop their armor and open their hearts. One of my brothers at the table, Peter, around 40 years old with a life situation more similar to my own. He was married with children, had a good job and seemed quite functional. In our free time, we enjoyed chatting with other. Early Saturday morning, as we were all singing our way down a corridor heading for a prayer service, Peter grabbed my arm and also corralled one of the more enlightened priests, whom I had met the night before in my first “confession”. Peter dragged both of us into a little room for a private talk. This was so out of character for the Cursillo that something in me instantly perked up. Peter was distressed and explained to the priest that the evening before at his confession, he was told (by a different priest) that he should leave the Cursillo. The reason for this odd request was that Peter had been baptized in the Unitarian church and the priest did not consider that to be adequate. The enlightened priest then said, “For the purpose of this Cursillo, you are fully baptized. You do not have to leave and are invited to fully participate in all aspects of everything that goes on here.” I could see Peter relax as he took all this in. “However, if you feel that your baptism is not complete, then perhaps someday you may want to look at that.” I had not said one word, just observed. Obviously if Peter’s baptism was suspect, mine was almost non-existent. I wondered if the advice of the priest might apply to me. I filed that thought away. Next Blog – Catherine’s Cursillo .
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