2/16/2021 0 Comments February 16th, 2021Catherine’s Cursillo happened one month after mine. The Cursillo rule for traditional couples is that the man goes first. I have heard two interpretations for this rule. The first appears to be a sad holdover from patriarchy. The second is that most women are more emotionally and spiritually advanced than their male partners. If they went first, the men would never catch up. Take your pick. After my surprising but liberating break-through at my Cursillo about separating from my own thoughts, and the flood of positive emotions that followed, I was very excited about Catherine doing hers. Every Cursillo is a personal experience, but I hoped she would really enjoy it. This was important because if we were to fully immerse ourselves in the LaSalette community, both of us would need to deeply feel it was worthwhile. Neither of us wanted to pull or push the other along. We both understood what a genuine commitment demanded. We had both made a total commitment to the Theater community that had lasted fifteen years, but that ended twelve years before. Were we willing to engage again? I was also clear that my interest was to be part of a community of cooperative adults and that leadership was a shared responsibility. We had experienced the highs and lows of a community run by a single person with a singular vision. We had no wish to experience something like that again. As I had already lived my Cursillo and was now a Cursillista, I could participate in all the surprises that would be coming Catherine’s way. In fact, I became her co-sponsor which opened up an entire realm of giving and organizing that was wonderful. This aspect of the Cursillo, supporting others, is just as powerful as actually going through it oneself. For example, in addition to collecting Palanca letters (which detail some of the efforts on behalf of Catherine) from the people at LaSalette, I invited Catherine’s parents to write a letter. Catherine was very close to her parents and I knew this would be touching for her especially in a Cursillo setting. I drove her up to St. Basil’s on Thursday night, wished her well and told her I would see her Sunday at the end. I knew that the “finale” was a beautiful ceremony where all the candidates would be on a stage and share their weekend stories with a large group of, sponsors, family and well-wishers. On Sunday night I drove to St. Basil’s and took a seat in the audience with more than 100 people. After three days of intensive retreat, this is an extremely emotional moment and people speak freely from their hearts. All the candidates were sitting on the stage. Of course, I looked for Catherine. I recognized her, but, and this is a big but, it was not how Catherine usually looks. Her face and body were so relaxed that she literally looked different to me. I wondered if this was merely my imagination or even a small hallucination, but I did not think so. I was simply happy that Catherine got her own chance to experience the retreat. It would not be too much of an invention to say that she was glowing. I have met many wonderful people in my life and there is a certain glow, an energy that often surrounds them. When Catherine’s turn came, she stood up and walked to the microphone. Her presence radiated. I couldn’t wait for her to speak, to hear what deep wisdom sounds like. She began “Three significant events occurred in my life this year. The first was my 25th anniversary (pause) of my 25th birthday.” It took the audience a moment to get the joke and then laughter filled the room. “The second “gift” I received was that I got breast cancer. The third was this Cursillo.” She continued sharing some of her insights and gratitude for the weekend and the inspiration she received from the other women in her Cursillo. Her presence was truly remarkable. Her rhythm and pauses were so natural and easy. The room went silent. In the more than 25 years that I had known her, I had never seen her quite like this. Her little talk was so electrifying that several men who had been at my Cursillo including the Rector (the person who ran it), came over to me later and asked if I were her sponsor. When I told them that I was her husband, they smiled and said “you are one lucky guy.” I agreed. After our Cursillos, we were both clear that, surprising as it was, LaSalette might actually be for us. It was intriguing to me that my next step into becoming Catholic / Christian had nothing whatsoever to do with belief. I did not meet LaSalette or the Cursillo experience on the level of belief. I simply met it with an open heart. A vision at Disneyworld - Fifteen years earlier, when Elizabeth was a child, we went on a family vacation to Disneyworld in Florida. We were all enjoying one of their fantastic waterparks with many slides set up around a large pool. The slides were varied, some curved, some covered, some high and straight, some with animal figures, and even one for toddlers. The thought occurred to me that these slides were the different religions and spiritual ways on our planet. At their best, they all emptied into the pool; the great mystery of life. How one got into the pool was only secondary. My main interest was the pool. And yet, I was willingly embarking on an adventure on one of the slides. It was a slide with its own stories, beliefs, truths and myths that appeared to have found me and invited me along for the ride.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
David FeldmanDog walker, Dog Mediator, Father, Husband, Categories |